"Removes self doubt and stupid fits of jerk like behaviour!". Why can't it say that on the soap package in big bold lettering. I guess that would be just too good a product. The FDA would not approve. This morning in the isolation of the white sink the little jagged bits of yesterday scraped my mind as they played back. I purposely cooled down everything from the way I said hello down to feigning distraction when she spoke. Kinda like a poutty toddler. She wondered why I was acting so different. I wanted to say, "Don't you realize you can't expect me to treat you the same, we went through a big change!" but it's not that simple. I was as accustomed to our late night dinners and walks just as much as she was. Our good bye was so cold last time we saw each other that our breath was surely visible even on that fair night. I closed the tap, headed out toward the day. It was uneventful til just before the day was officially over. For the rest of the world that's 11:59 pm but for me the day continues til like sometimes 6 am. She called when it still felt like today. I said I wasn't going to answer the late night calls anymore, but there I was picking up knowing exactly who was at the other end. We went for dinner, her first of the night my second, it's a good thing I had the first one around 5 pm. It was a great dinner, not just the food from our usual familiar place but we were once again familiar to each other Nothing like a settling meal after settling things with someone you care about. Around 4am the sink didn't look draining like at the beginning of the day. It was now cleansing. The dirt of the past days was washing away because I learned something about being a good friend, if you really care for someone you have to be there not just because you promised, those are just words but because you actually feel something in your heart for that special person, even if that means swallowing a bit of the "pride water" as we're trying to soap out the dirty bits for the good of our relationships.